HAMILTON, NY—The Colgate University Mathematics department has been hard at work compiling recent data from a probability study. The study looked at all of the different ways you might die, and the department determined that you will eventually die.
“We have all been told something along the lines of: the chances of getting killed by lightning are 1 in 10 million or the odds of getting killed by a shark are 1 in 500 million,” said Professor Matt Probst. “Therefore, we decided to add up all of those probabilities to see what the chances of dying are.”
After adding up every possible situation, Probst told us that there is a one hundred percent chance that you are going to die within 125 years of the day you were born. When further discussing the study, Probst mentioned the reality of just how many different ways you might die. He explained that there were some situations they hadn’t originally considered but had to factor in such as death by sheep (1 in 4 billion) and death by carrot juice over-consumption (1 in 7 billion). He went on to say that he wasn’t originally sure what the final probability of you dying would be, but that he’s happy with the number of 100%.
Finally, Probst shared hopes that other groups will perform the same study to see if the results can be replicated. He is confident that his department was thorough with its report, and looks forward to publishing the study in an upcoming American Mathematical Society journal.
The Monthly Rag 
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