HAMILTON, NY—This past Friday afternoon, Julia Blackmon ‘16 decided to celebrate the weekend after getting out of her 12:20 with some of her friends. According to sources close to Julia, her drink of choice was tequila. After she drank a bit too much, Blackmon was found tutoring students in math at Hamilton Central School at 3:30 in the afternoon.
“Ugh, I rarely drink too much,” said Blackmon, “but when I do, I always do shit I would never think of doing otherwise.” Blackmon thinks of herself as a hard-working student who likes to spend time with her friends and enjoy the outdoors. However, like many Colgate students, Blackmon would never consider taking an afternoon to do any sort of volunteer work.
“Tequila makes some people angry, for others it makes them cry, and for Blackmon it makes her go do volunteer work in the community,” commented Valerie Teller, a friend of Blackmon’s. Teller recalled one time at 3am on Saturday when they found Blackmon completely incoherent and planting a flower garden in the backyard of Delta Upsilon. Says Teller, “It’s really becoming a problem. She needs to get help before she becomes a public servant or joins the Peace Corps or something.”
Blackmon’s friends are planning an intervention to take place in the coming weeks. In unrelated news, Hamilton Central School is looking for new math tutors.
The Monthly Rag 
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