Californian Proudly Tells Parents About First Scuff on Bean Boots

HAMILTON, NY—First-year student and Southern California native, Elizabeth Ackerley, explained to her friends with animation and positivity that her parents were indeed as excited as she was by the first scuff that her brand new Bean Boots had received.

Apparently Elizabeth’s mother, Lisa Ackerley, was concerned about her daughter’s well-being, as she did not get the same chance as the East Coast mothers to over-parent her during Parents Weekend. When Lisa began peppering Elizabeth with questions about the fall weather and whether or not she felt that she fit in, Elizabeth pulled out the story that she knew would put all her mother’s fears to rest: scuffing her Bean Boots for the first time.

Elizabeth reportedly told her nervous parents that she had begun wearing the boots in early October, about the time temperatures dipped below 50 degrees. “Initially, I thought that I had bought the wrong shoes or something, because I didn’t see anyone else with the same boots. A few weeks later, though, when all the East Coast kids started wearing their Bean Boots, I realized what the problem was. Mine were too new!”

As Elizabeth explained to her parents, her issue was resolved at the second football game of the year. At the game, Elizabeth was drinking hard cider out of water bottles with some other students whose parents were unable to visit. Elizabeth discovered that she was a little drunker than she realized when she stood up to leave the game and promptly tripped down the bleachers, suffering a concussion and a broken right arm. When Lisa seemed worried after the mention of Elizabeth’s drunk antics, Elizabeth reassured her that “the fall and injuries were actually completely worth it, because I finally scuffed the right side of the toe of my left Bean Boot!” While initially her parents were confused about the significance of the scuff, Elizabeth explained that her social life had changed since the incident and that she now felt like one of the most popular freshmen girls at Colgate. With that, her parents ended their questioning and Elizabeth was free to return to sleeping off her hangover in bed.

At press time, Elizabeth was telling her friends that she should have told her parents that she actually needed a Barbour jacket to completely fit in, because she had spent her entire clothing budget at the Jug.