RateMyProfessor Exclusive: With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility

HAMILTON, NY—In the coming weeks, students will begin reviewing their instructors on the popular website RateMyProfessor.com. Because some students feel that SET forms are an inadequate way to properly vent their semester’s frustrations, the website at least provides students a chance to warn the future classes of the impending doom of Physical Chemistry with Professor Crick or Critical Geopolitics with Dr. Pope. However, it can also serve as a guiding light to the saints among the staff. Either way, there are pitfalls students run into whenever they fill out these reports.

If you really enjoyed a professor’s class and you want to share the love, by all means rate him or her well. But again, do not push too far. There is already a chili pepper on the website if you want to rate them as attractive. There is no need for elaborate comments like “his silky voice at 8:20 is the only reason I dragged myself from my warm bed where I dreamed of jumping his bone semi-nightly.” Try your best to limit your comments to that which have to do with in-class experience. No one on the website needs to know about your post-Jug experiences running into a prof on Broad Street.

 

While it is important to warn those students who follow you about the 65 pages of required reading per class, exaggerating too much will make it seem as though you were the person who was always unprepared and dragging down the class’ progress. Additionally, refrain from calling professors any unwarranted nicknames, even if it is in a positive light. This means no “Stinky McBaldhead” and no “Lady Dudemeister.” Most importantly, do not leave any comment that will single you out as the author. It’s possible you will have to take another class with the professor and if you mentioned that his lectures put you to sleep, he may remember the snoozer next time he sees you.

 

However, if you’re so pissed off beyond measure and wish to make your professor’s life hell long after you have left his or her class, you can recommend them on www. professorwatchlist.org, a site dedicated to exposing liberal bias in the classroom. Remember that professor whose views on the economy were just to the left of Karl Marx’s? How about that Education professor who wouldn’t stop prattling on? Now you can have sweet revenge by exposing their name to the sort of people who would read a website dedicated to exposing professors who “promote anti-American left-wing propaganda in the classroom.” The possibilities are endless.

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