Nothing gets us at the Monthly Rag in the holiday spirit like the festive 12 Days of Christmas song. This year though, twelve days of fake cheer and tolerating your family sober isn’t going to cut it. Treat yourself and start every morning of winter break with one or seven shots in your coffee. That way, if your true love drops the god-damn ball again this year and doesn’t send you a partridge in a pear tree, you’ll have these twelve steps to cheer you up and help you not remember.
Players: 12+
Materials: Sweep the liquor store
Instructions:
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Twelve beers for chugging Eleven ciders for drinking Ten juices for spiking Nine ales frothing
Eight bathroom visits for bladder bursting
Seven vodka shots to pick you back up
Six days of family fighting Five moments of deep regret Four whiskey-filled nights Three shots of tequila
Two limes
A final bottle of wine
*Disclaimer: The Monthly Rag encourages safe behavior when drinking. If not, you have no right to be upset when we laugh at you after reading the Blotter.
The Monthly Rag 
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