HAMILTON, NY— Colgate University has been rocked by controversies following the launch of BraiderBart, a new website devoted to far-right conspiracy theories. Publishing articles ranging from the outlandish, “10 Chemicals that B&G Puts in Our Water to Weaken our Vital Fluids,” to the more plausible “The Hidden Plot: Where Does Chartwells Really Get Its Meat From?” to the more problematic, “The REAL Reason Why Hitler’s Painting is Tragically Overlooked in Art Studies Courses,” the site has elicited a range of reactions from students. The Vice-President of the College Republicans, Julius Vanderwald III, agreed to be interviewed by the Monthly Rag about his organization’s response. Wearing his causal clothes (a three-pieced suit, monocle, and ivory handled cane) Vanderwald said, “This rubbish is besmirching the good name of the Republican Party! The GOP is a venerable organization that stands for noble ideals, like turning the poor out on their lazy behinds, and standing up for the rights of minorities. Democrats may advocate for Blacks, Muslims, and Hispanics, but the GOP stands for the truly oppressed —the 1%. My father made his money the hard way, by founding a chain of private prisons, trading in blood diamonds, and eventually joining the board of United Airlines. Currently he serves on the RNC’s Special Committee on Welfare Queens and Black on Black Crime, and I would hate for his good name to be damaged by being associated with those racists at BraiderBart!”
Other students who have been disturbed by the website’s contents are fighting back. “Hate has no place on this campus,” said Sarah Jessica Walker, “So we will fight back with the power of memes.” Her group, the Organization of Black, Native, and Other Xenophobia Intolerant Undergraduate Students, has vowed to plaster the campus with signs like “Hate Is More Ugly Than Love,” and “Remember the Children.” In this way they plan to heal the community.
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