HAMILTON, NY—Earlier this month it was announced that former Vice President of the United States and meme legend, Joe Biden, will be visiting Colgate in March as part of the Kerschner Family Global Leaders Series.

Since the announcement, speculation has emerged around the potential bromance between former Vice President Biden and Colgate’s own President Brian Casey after the university revealed the itinerary for Biden’s visit to Hamilton. Biden is scheduled to arrive at the Hall of Presidents on the afternoon of the 24th, followed by “a few rounds of Xbox, pregame with a couple rounds of pong, head over to the field house for the show, sign a couple autographs, road beers, Tap Room for a couple hard ciders, talk a little domestic policymaking and foreign affairs,

go back to the Hall of Presidents, pregame again, road beers on the walk

to the party, live it up at DU, cruise to the Jug, maybe do a round or two of karaoke (maybe a little Journey, a little Elton John), buy a round of gladiator shots for the place, Slices, discuss efforts to raise the living standards for middle class Americans, cruise home, pass out, wake up, chug some Gatos, make their way to Flour and Salt, wait

When contacted for comment about his visit, Biden said he was “pumped” about the itinerary, although he is also “pretty chill and is willing to see where the night takes us, you know?”

While these two progressive-minded woke adult dudes seem destined
for friendship, sources suggest that there may be tension coming from the Obama administration regarding his own bromance with his former Vice President. A spokesperson for Obama initially refused to comment on the allegations, although the spokesperson eventually revealed that Obama was hurt that Joe had managed to move on so quickly to a new bro.

Although he cannot offer Biden a Presidential Medal of Freedom, Casey remarked that he feels confident in his friendship with Joe. He added, “I’m sure Colgate jUgz will make better memes of us than they ever had.”