HAMILTON, NY— Last year was undeniably the highlight of female Halloween costumes with the introduction of Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn; DC provided women (along with a few men of conventional irony and secure masculinity) for a single night the feminine ideal.
“It’s hard to find a character that romanticizes mental illness, abusive relationships, and atrocious tattoos while also being so fetishizedly sexy,” junior Christie Camembert explained, twisting her faux pink pigtail and eyeing the room warily for a Joker to sweep her off her feet and into a state of toxic dependency and romantic serfdom before thrusting her into the merciless will of gravity.
Though her analysis of the villainess’ sexual appeal is on the mark, fellow partygoers found her nostalgia of the past pitiful, the character no longer a figure on the forefront of universal imagination. “You wouldn’t see me dressing as Trump this Halloween, either be timeless or trending,” commented Tach brother James Manchego, seemingly unaware of the hypocrisy in his Vote for Pedro t-shirt and Jew-fro wig. In the search for relevance however, many Colgate students searched far and wide for the ideal pop-culture reference, ultimately reaching an autumnal epiphany.
This Halloween marked the undeniable reign of sexy Pennywise, of Stephen King’s “It,”, as the it costume of the year. In the sea of sexy cats and scandalous devils, beacons of orange provided illumination into the incredible ingenuity of the low self-esteemed. Instagram feeds flooded with Stephen King’s creature of fear turned femme-fatale, and positive reactions from local sexist douchebags confirmed there was something disconcertingly sexy about these killers clowns with cleavage. Beta pledge Chad Roquefort explained, “I mean, we already knew women are crazy and their tits are kinda their best asset, and I feel like this costume really drives that truth home.” Although official results have yet to be released, experts are predicting this year’s Halloweekend to set records for occurrences of mediocre one-night stands, in large part due to the prevalence of sexy Pennywise costumes.
The gender inclusivity this costume provides in the androgynous nature of immortal clown demons cannot be undervalued. A fair amount of fraternity brothers wore little other than an orange wig and a shade of facepaint only slightly more privileged than their natural complexions. The smearing of red lipstick was not irregular, as clowncest ensued amongst many of the Pennywise pandemic.
The Monthly Rag 
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