Sex Position: Carving the Turkey

This position takes several hours of preparation, but the delicious “dinner” that you and your lover will enjoy is worth it. First, cover your bed in mash potatoes and bathe in gravy. Before getting on the bed, lay out green beans, cranberry sauce, and sweet potatoes around the edges of the bed. Then, position yourself between the side dishes and do your best to shape yourself like a turkey. When your lover arrives, he’ll be shocked at the mess you made at first, but once you invite him to “stuff” you, he should be over how gross this all is. Make sure to refuse to move from your turkey position and only make strange bird noises while bumping funnies. If you still need something more to do after, you can always get out the whipped cream and pumpkin pie. Enjoy!