New Bicentennial “C” Logo Beloved By None

HAMILTON, NY — Earlier this month, select Rag writers and editorial staff were summoned to James B. Colgate Hall where we were told that, due to the fact that we have a readership that extends beyond our own aunts, for once we would be given the honor being able to just reprint the administration’s words verbatim and call it an original article. Beloved University President Brian Casey granted the Rag an exclusive interview to outline his new plans.

“The occasion of Colgate’s Bicentennial celebration is an opportunity both to reflect on our storied past and great traditions and to look forward on our bright future. Our new C is designed to embody that spirit. This elegant new design will represent our proud university for a whole new generation of students, while paying homage to our past, by being designed on the Black Ops II Gamer Clan Tag Generator. Using cutting edge 2012 in-game design technology, our new C draws inspiration from some of the greats, like PuzZyLIKKeR, rayray69, and PAWGwgGAYNG.

“We recognize that, in the spirit of Black Ops II, our next 200 years will likely be pretty fine but not as good as the first. People come up to me and they say ‘President Casey, what was wrong with the old logo? This C looks like dogshit, seriously, it’s one of the laziest things I’ve ever seen,’ and I reply ‘Indeed, it perfectly captures the essence of an essay someone wrote the day of after going to the Jug.’

“Its smooth edges represent our proud hill, its toilet lid shape recalls the bathrooms at Tach, and its dark gold color represents the only shade of yellow available on the game’s color palette. When our student athletes travel to compete across these United States, their opponents will remark ‘Hey, your C looks like a logo I designed to use on my friend’s XBOX in middle school when everyone was yelling at me to hurry up so we could play,’ or ‘That logo looks like something a guy who’s trying to run a fake college out of a Tallahassee trailer park to scam the government for student loan money might come up with,’ and they will be right.

“Was changing our emblem an idea that some administrator came up with to justify the existence of his own job? It was, and this fucked up looking C will still wave proudly over our great campus when your children are accepted here due to their legacy status. By the way, we’re changing the motto too. No more Deo ac Veritati, it’s going to be Call of Duty from now on.”