Girls Dirty Rush Handbook

HAMILTON, NY — Lace up your Supergas, put on the best ripped jeans you own and order some odd-shaped rose-colored glasses on Amazon. Its girls dirty rush szn! What does that entail, you might ask? Here at the Rag, we have the answers. We’ve put together this handy guide to help freshmen and confused upperclassmen alike with the process known as sorority dirty rush. For the woefully confused, let’s get a few basics out there: Dirty rush is all about getting hammered with people you barely know and just hoping that someone was sober enough to remember your name or at least save your phone number. The more ‘pregames with friends’ you get invited to, the better shape you’re in. Come fall, rushee’s can use the connections they made to get a bid because of your conversation skills, and totally not because you and Becky in Kappa went to the same High School in Westchester. Here are some tips from a junior girl who asked to remain anonymous. “First, you should totally try to dress to match the group you’re hanging out with”, she said. “The more people who are confused if you’re a sister or not, the better”. The junior continued on, advising freshmen to keep an ear out for these key phrases: “Omg i love your outfit”, “wanna come pregame with my friends???” and “Heyyy, so where are you from” which, she told The Rag, are all symbols that you’re on the right track to get invited to dirty rush events. A vast difference from being invited ‘down to the house to play with the bros’, dirty rushing for girls is all about pretending you haven’t talked to any other groups when really you’ve been to 5 different pregames in the past week and you lost track of the number of times you’ve answered the question “so where do you think you want to rush next year?”. Finally, it’s crucial to play it cool: never refer to an event as a dirty rush, everyone knows it’s just ‘hanging out with my upperclassmen friends’. Feel free to use this handbook liberally, and don’t forget to thank The Rag during recruitment next year when you’re light years ahead of the fucking losers who didn’t dirty rush.