The Freshman Crawl
Are you tired of your regular Monday, Wednesday or Friday evenings? Need to get your rocks off? Do you want to relive the fall semester of your freshman year, or maybe do you just enjoy laughing at freshmen? If so, this is the perfect game to spice up your week! Grab a friend and hit the Res Quad, because it’s Freshman Jug Night.
Materials:
-One handle of Strawberry Lemonade Svedka
-Two cases of White Claw (Mango is preferable, but Variety Pack works, too)
-An eighth of weed and a pipe
-A resistance to Mono
-No Shame.
Instructions:
Take a shot if you see one freshman girl wearing a jean skirt and a crop top
Take three shots if you see a group of 5 or more freshman girls wearing a jean skirt and a crop top
Take a shot if someone asks to rip your juul
Chug a Claw if you ask to rip someone else’s juul
Take 4 shots when the Andrews dorm party gets busted
Shotgun a Claw for every 15 minutes you wait in the Jug line and do 12 jumping jacks to stay warm
Smoke a bowl if you make it back up to frank without yakking on the Cruiser.
Finish the handle if you end your night by dry humping a freshman lacrosse player in his dorm room while his roommate is sleeping 5 feet away.
*Disclaimer: The Monthly Rag encourages safe behavior when drinking. If you do something stupid, you have no right to be upset when we laugh at you after reading the Blotter.
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