HAMILTON, NY — This past week an anonymous witness informed The Rag of the rarely-seen Campo deer-culling ceremony that took place on Oak Drive. As many students know, the Colgate Environmental Studies program participates in deer-culling excursions during the fall, killing deer in order to control the local population.
“It’s my favorite part of being an ENST major,” senior Ivanna Khil said, “I knew from my first cull that this is something I cared deeply about.” Students and professors alike can be seen from September to November up the hill in traditional “Yosemite Sam” attire running around looking for deer to ‘save’ from winter’s starvation.
While the ENST culling ceremonies are a common practice, the Campo ceremonies are rare and thrilling. Rather than using the traditional methods such as bows, traps and guns, Campo uses their sports utility vehicles to do the deed. “I was there,” says our source, “I saw the campo car drive about 45 miles an hour straight into a deer at like 1 am. I was pretty fucked at that point, but I know what I saw. It was the Campo deer-culling ceremony. The sight of it sobered me immediately.” The officer then proceeded to lay the animal down for its final ascent to salvation. He dragged the mangled carcass off of Oak Drive and onto the rugby field under the light of the moon and began to chant. Unfortunately, our source was then seen by the Campo officer, and the student was unable to witness the end of the ritual. Any further information or observations about the Campo culling ceremonies are welcomed and highly encouraged by The Rag.
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