Inspirational Circles Found to Be Extremely Beneficial for Student Mental Health

HAMILTON, NY — With the pandemic nearing its first full year, virtual classes causing Zoom fatigue and seasonal depression creeping in, the mental health on campus was poor, to say the least, as the Fall semester pressed on. Worried about their own—and their peers’—mental health, many students came to the administration requesting increased mental health resources or a smidgeon of academic leniency. Colgate’s student body asked, and of course, the administration answered. 

In a stroke of what one member of the administration called “pure genius,” Colgate eliminated the mental health crisis on campus swiftly and effectively by placing circular inspirational stickers on floors and paths across campus. The stickers in question are adorned with various inspirational sayings, including “Suck It Up,” “Colgate [hearts] Virtue Signaling,” and “Come On, It’s Not That Bad.” Overall, student sentiment has shown these stickers to be a resounding success. One sophomore, Samuel L. Jackson, told The Rag thusly:

 “Who really needs a pass/fail grading option or increased appointments at the Counseling Center? These stickers are fucking dope! Nothing makes me more excited for my two hour Zoom lecture than walking to the Coop and being told ‘Never Give Up.’” Jackson continued, “Why couldn’t I have thought of this? Stickers are cheap to print and they sure as hell look good to people visiting the school on tours!”

When surveying other students, the sentiment seemed to be campuswide. First year Michelle Tyson told us that as she was on her way to the registrar to officially drop out, she saw one the circles on the ground which “completely changed” her outlook. The circle in question said simply “Good Job!”; and upon seeing this sticker, Tyson told us that her mood instantly felt “100 times better.” The stickers around campus have managed to boost students’ serotonin and dopamine levels, completely erasing any problems that persisted in the student body. The Rag hopes that Colgate’s administration will continue with their superb handling of mental health during the pandemic and potentially even branch out to stickers with more sayings and possibly even shapes other than circles(!). The Rag pledges to keep our readers up-to-date with the future of Colgate’s inspirational circles.