Investigation of Emrys_at_Colgate

September 26, 2016 by Leave a Comment

HAMILTON, NY—With President Casey’s arrival there has been an uproar around his Instagram account featuring his dog all over Colgate’s campus. Casey has been even been spotted speaking with students as his dog is paraded around iconic building like the Chapel. Luckily, Rag reporters got on the case to investigate how students are taking the new president’s social media splash.

Junior Emily McCewan, an avid Instagram user, was approached for her opinion on the Emrys Instagram. When asked about Emrys’ photo next to the Curtis Clock she responded, “I really like the lighting in the picture but I feel like a Valencia filter really would have brought out the brown in Emrys’ fur. It’s a rookie mistake, but I think that Pres. Casey has some potential.” McCewan is noted for her 1k Instagram followers and her extensive, bordering abusive, use of the “boomerang” feature.

Senior William Richardson told us what he disliked most about the Emrys Instagram, “Sometimes seeing Emry’s pictures in academic buildings makes me remember the dozens of times I’ve cried in those exact places. I’m getting emotional right now just thinking about my orgo test last year. I’m also not sure if he’s even a true Instagram user. It looks like he might be using VSCO cam on some of his pictures.” While we don’t take these allegations lightly, we do hope that Casey will come forward if he has been using third party apps to falsely increase the quality of his pictures.

Overall, students agree that President Casey’s Insta game is strong, but he has room to improve if he seriously wants to engage with social media savvy kids on this campus.

Filed Under: Administration

Dean Nelson: Having Kegs At Parties Makes Too Much Sense

January 28, 2016 by Leave a Comment

HAMILTON, NY—After much research, Dean of the College Suzy Nelson announced, “Allowing kegs at parties makes too much sense.” This announcement came after an extensive report put together by a team in the Colgate Economics Department showed no reason not to allow kegs.

The report detailed the many benefits of allowing residences to use kegs at their parties. Researchers found that the rate of consumption was slowed: At a large Colgate party, research showed that 165 12oz. beers could be consumed in a matter of 5 minutes because of the quick access provided by many cases of beer with individual cans. This is compared to 15-20 minutes for a well-tapped keg without ever stopping the stream of beer. Researchers also found that a keg gives the buyer about 20-30 more beers for the same price than buying cases, and the data indicated that kegs lead to much less waste.

When asked for comment, Dean Nelson told us, “Had there been any reason not to do it, we would’ve done it. But this administration prides itself on making irrational decisions, and given the results of the report, it just wouldn’t be feasible for us to allow kegs.”

Filed Under: Administration, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

In Response to Student Protest, Dean of College Sends More Emails Than Usual

January 26, 2016 by Leave a Comment

HAMILTON, NY—In October, students protested the release of the HEDS data results and the administration’s mistreatment of sexual assault on Colgate’s campus. As a result of the powerful and well- organized protest, the Dean of the College sent more emails than usual.

On average, experts say the Dean of the College sends two emails total to the Colgate community per semester. However, in the two weeks following the protest, the Dean of
the College sent an impressive three emails. While it has been tough to say whether the administration is going to take any serious action in response to the demands of the students, it is clear that the Dean of the College has made a commitment to frequent, optimistic and ambiguously-worded emails. “I think it’s great,” commented a Colgate professor, “seeing students put pressure on the administration is something that you don’t see at every university.” When reporters at the Rag asked a student involved in the protest about the positive response by the University, she responded with a look of genuine confusion. “What positive response?,” the student remarked, “These are just emails.”Students are indeed skeptical after the emails were sent out, citing protests of the past when emails were sent out, and the promises made within the emails were not upheld.

When asked about the concerns of the students, the Dean of the College ensured students not to worry and that an email would be sent out to the Colgate community in the coming days to update and reassure them.

Filed Under: Administration, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,
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