HAMILTON, NY—With election season around the corner, we thought we’d give you a quick update on the 3 Colgate presidential candidates and what they are offering for the student body. We hope that everyone will use the below information to align themselves with a specific candidate and come out to vote!

Brian Saunders: If Brian is elected president, no one will pay for tuition. The money will come from somewhere, but no one will pay for it. In addition, Brian would like everyone to know that he attended the sit-in for a few hours, so he also supports racial equality. Brian’s campaign is also characterized by a big Broad Street reform, which focuses on breaking apart powerful organizations. In the end, Mr. Saunders expressed that he wants everyone to #feelthebrian, a slogan which few students are comfortable with.

Helen Clifford: Helen for Colgate is the slogan for Ms. Clifford’s campaign. While she stands in the shadow of her boyfriend, a former SGA president, Ms. Clifford wants the students to know that she is ready to take on the challenge. Helen promises to fix literally everything. We’ll see how that goes.  Though, according to Ms. Clifford herself, you should vote for her, because “you’re really going to vote for one of the other two guys?”

Dan Trufont: Dan Trufont has vowed to make this campus great again. He believes International students are unfairly stealing many spots that belong to unqualified American students. For those looking to learn more, Mr. Trufont will be holding a rally supporting alumni at the same time as a debate that the school is organizing. Supposedly he will not be debating the other candidates due to an ongoing feud with Dean Nelson, one of the moderators. Supposedly she was mean to him one time.